Tuesday, November 15, 2011

In the midst of darkness, an RM case worker sees glimmers of incredible Hope:

As a counselor in training I have always had hopeful aspirations of “changing lives”. It has always been my heart’s desire to be used by the Lord to bring hope and healing to the broken that He loves so much. What those of us in the helping professions often don’t consider is that in our attempt to change lives we will be radically changed ourselves.

At Restoration Ministries we go into the youth detention center and the psychiatric hospital each week and the girls share their lives with us. We are allowed the privilege to walk with them through their pain. As we meet them where they are each week they begin to let down their guard. They embrace us even with all our imperfections and over time relationships begin to form. We see the Lord touch their lives and as a result we are changed.

Through this process the Lord has radically shifted my view of life through my interactions with these girls. As I hear their stories of brokenness I am overwhelmed by such deep pain that only He can heal; but I am also witness to their hope, strength, and resiliency. I am amazed each week at how He is faithful to move in our midst. It is the seemingly small moments that have the greatest impact on me in this ministry.

My first day as I walked through six doors that slammed locked behind me at the youth detention center something deep within me shook. I entered the classroom and looked into the eyes of 8 young girls that sat sleepily in front of me and thought "they are just kids Lord, how can they be here?” They went on to share their hopes and dreams with us that day. They had such big dreams for their future; they wanted to travel, to be doctors, lawyers, counselors, and artists.

As I sat with one young lady during her craft she began to open up to me, “I want to change my life when I get out of here and I don’t want to end up back here” she said, “I want to be a counselor and to help people who have been through the pain I have been through”. She beamed from ear to ear as we continued to talk about her goals and I had the opportunity to speak God’s truth into her life. As group came to a close she hugged me tightly and thanked me for talking to her. I was overwhelmed with God’s love for her and began to get just a small glimpse of why we do what we do at RM.

In the past two months I have seen more than 80 different girls, each with a story to tell if someone would just take the time to listen. In September, we met Lisa* who cried as she shared with the group that she felt like she had no value.   Her father sexually abused her then stuffed her in a trash can filled with water to drown her.

In October, we met Daija* who shared that she was ashamed because her aunt tied her to a chair and made her watch pornography when she was 7 years old.  We also met Cassie* who had the entire group in tears as she shared about her former heroin addiction and how she wanted to change, but nobody in her life believed in her. Everyone from her parents to her judge told her she was nothing but a menace to society who could never be anything, but trouble. She sobbed as she screamed, “I just want to be loved is that too much to ask?”. The girls in group hugged her and we cried with her as we told her we loved her and about God’s love for her. The entire group asked for prayer that day. The stories could go on and on, they never get easier to hear, but they all impact us and cause us to look to the only ONE who can heal hurt this deep.

Perhaps the most impactful experience for me was my encounter with a 15 year old girl named Mariah*. After group one day Mariah was sharing her story with one of the other RM team members. She became overwhelmed by her pain and ran back into the classroom in tears. I sat next to her on the sofa and she fell into my arms. As she sobbed she whispered through her tears “it’s not my fault, I’m scared and I don’t want to die”. When I asked her why she feared for her life she was too overwhelmed to share, so I asked her if I could pray for her. I held her in my arms and prayed over her until she was calm enough to talk. She went on to share with me that she had been forced to have sex, beaten, and held at gun point several times when she ran away from home and she didn’t feel safe going back. In the past month we have continued to work together both in group and on an individual basis. I have seen tremendous progress. As she continues to share her story with me, God brings opportunities for me to share His love and His plan for her life. In addition to talking about her story, we have worked on coping skills for her anxiety and goal setting for the future.  However, most importantly she agreed to let me share her story with her social worker so that she can get the help she needs when she leaves the hospital. There is still tremendous healing that needs to take place, but the healing process has begun. God in His goodness has given me the grace to take part in that healing process even if only for a short time.

In this ministry stories like these are endless. Some people ask me if I get mad at God for the horrible things I hear or if I feel hopeless. The answer is no; I see the hope every day. We continue to show up and in turn God is faithful to show up as well. I have realized we may be the only love and truth some of these girls ever experience. Lives are changed one moment at a time as we continue to yield ourselves and allow ourselves to be used by God.

Written by M.C., posted by L.L.